RETURNS ACCEPTED
Returns are cheerfully accepted if the container actually comes back. Congratulations—you have already beaten the odds.
RETURNS & REFUNDS
Our policy is simple, compassionate, and fully aware of what happens when containers enter the family network.
60-DAY-ISH GUARANTEE!
REFUND ELIGIBILITY
Unused OllaWare may be refunded. Refunds are not available for emotional distress, family betrayal, or unreturned text messages.
RETURN WINDOW
You have 60 days, which is approximately fifty-nine days longer than anyone expects a borrowed container to remain traceable.
EVENTS NOT COVERED BY OLLAWARE™
OllaWare is not responsible for containers lost at carne asadas, baptisms, quinceañeras, birthdays, holidays, potlucks, family reunions, or mysterious “I’ll bring it tomorrow” situations.
This parody policy has no legal value, no shipping department, and no authority over your relatives. It does, however, feel emotionally accurate.